Crap

The sense of failure seemed so real these days I did try but it isn't working out Whywhywhy Should I continue in this or should i give it all up

New year resolutions 2012

Yay new resolutions for year 2012! Just do with the top 10 ones (:

FIRST
I wish to be a more filial and understanding daughter who does her duties and not disappoint my parent no matter what (:



SECOND
I wish to be a better girlfriend and be with boyf forever! Be that cup of tea that he loves so he'll never wanna try kopi or coke hahaha



THIRD
I wish to stay healthy each and everyday!



FOURTH
I wish to excel in my studies be it in JC or in poly!

FIFTH
I wish to improve my fashion sense please!!! It's really time to do so and change my wardrobe :(



SIXTH
I wish how to apply makeup! Yes it's also time to do so ready. Oh gosh 16 going to 17 also dk how to apply makeup is very very embarrassing ;( Gonna aim for this look!!!



SEVENTH
I WANT TO FREAKING GO TO BANGKOK AND SHOP TILL I DROP!!!!!!!!!!!
SOMEONE PLEASE ACCOMPANY ME GO BE IT FAMILY OR FRIENDS PLEASE JUST BRING ME GOOOOOO



EIGHTH
I wish to get a toned figure! Despite my busy schedule I must make time to workout!!!




NINETH
I wish to save up for DKNY green apple perfume! Awesome scent (:



TENTH
I wish to learn how to wear heels (: More feminine right







So this sums up my resolutions and cross fingers i'll be able to smile and look them at the end of 2012 to say "I've done it"

Boredom with freedom

O levels ended and the next thing we worry about would be RESULTS. Did my best and cross-fingers it would be within my expectations or say target. So after this major exam people may start thinking about jobs, saying to gain experience, to meet new friends and see the world blahblah. But seriously it's about having money and enjoying the holidays with it. I have that same sentiments too.


Resting too long makes me feel lazy and have that urge to start doing math sums again. Siao right. JC has a whole lot of sums and work for me to complete.
Recently, i start urging my sis to do math to prep her for o levels but the truth is that i'm the one who is itching to do those sums.

Haircut! Yeap new me=new haircut. Gonna try the mid-length style and hope it suits me! Oh and i've been wanting to change my specs to a more versatile one cause i don't fancy wearing contact lenses and a nice pair of specs would be gooooood (:


Once i get my pay!
1. Charles and Keith Black Wallet
Wanting to invest in one for my JC life since the current had been with me since sec two i guess and it's time for a change (: Gonna use the cute pencil case my sis bought from cambodia next year and I saved on that hahahaha

2. School bag
Not sure what design or brand but just looking around yeah. If nothing catches my eye then i'll just settle for a jansport backpack.

3. Toms shoes
Yeah from g-market super cheap. They claim to be authentic but who cares it's fake as long as it's good quality. Beige colour so nice...

4. All the christmas present for my loved ones!!!
Shall not elaborate (:

Next post would be on resolutions of 2012!

I'm posting today to somewhat express my lastest thoughts and feelings i suppose? Okay let's start.
First studies for me is really screws for me. I don't think i have that urgency to like mega chiong for o levels. This is infuriating, frustrating and annoying. I hate myself for this. Results are the only thing i could use to repay my parents.
Perhaps I should just look through my previous posts to reflect and pick up myself again.

Second, I start being sensitive to unfortunate ppl around me. I will realise how fortunate I am and i should cherish what I have, this opportunity to study. therefore, I should all the more make full use of it.

Wish me luck

It has been awhile..

Picture yourself in a vast ocean, where the horizon is no where to be seen. Where everything just stood still in that very moment with the traquility of the waters, and only you floating desperately on a broken raft. You're tired, drained and helpless. Before you, is earth's natural beatuty, will you choose to embrace it with hope and love or live in despair, lamenting the unfairness in life.

I can't seem to take control of my studies. Nothing ever goes in as a whole to my head. Perhaps it's just my pure laziness to not work hard enough and strive for the best. How much time am i left with? 6 months? Will it be a meaningful journey with you? Will you be willing to be with me forever.

"Eternity hah joke?" Am i that naive to believe in this crap?
I gave you everything and you know what i mean. Not coercing a commitment from you, just i feel really insecure. Think i'll just stop here.

It was a mistake. A irreversible mistake. I actually went against my principles and just let things go on and on. It's not a post of blame here but somehow i don't regret cause the person is you. Perhaps we were really too rash and things just got out of hands. I pray that we'll get out of this situation soon and revert back to our unworrying lives..

This really is my own feelings and i'm NOT gonna go through this shit again cause this year is way too important for me. Having to worry everyday, anticipating for something to come is simply just unbearable. Having to put up that tough front infront of my family is worst. It just stays at the back of my head each time when i'm alone, nothing better to think off. Somehow it just resurface by itself..

Please God, let us pull through this time. I'm to even sacrifice my few years of life span to stop this. Lastly, to my love i know you're really stressed up but please do not see this as a post of blame cause you're important in my life and it'll always be till the day i would be sleeping forever. Yes, i mean.

Why do i feel it so early

Apparently, i'm feeling the o level stress now. Yes, imagine now. I can even picture myself mugging nights after nights for this major exam a few months down the road. I know this is the one and only time to give it all and give it my best shot! L1R5 less than 12 is my target. Come on Serene Lam you can do it man :D i know you can :D Well.. i always believe that we have to work hard for that something we really yearn for and after we gone through that tough ordeal, i will be satisfied with myself. I hate regrets, especially in studies. After the tough battle, i will slowly savour and taste satisfaction. And if i don't work hard and make myself regret, i know it would feel awful.

Screwed up my sec three end of year exam big time. Especially my math and physics. Promised mr choo to get 3 points ONLY for both math and hey i'm gonna do that :D Physics really is a tough subject for me, but the tendancy to avoid it is really high. Take for eample holiday homework, I always rank it as last, avoiding it as much as possible. As much as i know this is not going to work, i still cannot face it with courage. It's only when i overcome this fear of mine can then i excel in physics, not disappointing myself. i can do it.

Honestly speaking the only reason for me to excel in studies is my parents. I do not want to let them down. The only thing i can use to repay them now is acheiving good results. At least i have something for them to be proud of (: And yes, i'm not gonna make this a regret. Must not

So for now, brush up on my sec three foundation to prep for sec four hectic schedule. Let's hope i can perform during sec four year (: All the best to me



I love my baby (: